Welcome to the MCU

Welcome to the MCU
Have a look around
Anything our CEOs can think of can be found

We’ve got mountains of content
Some better, some worse
If none of it’s of interest to you, there’s nothing more

Welcome to the MCU
Come and take a seat
Would you like to see Eternals or any famous cameo shit?

There’s no need to panic
This isn’t a test, haha
Just renew your subscription and we’ll do the rest

Welcome to the MCU
What would you prefer?
Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?

Be happy
Be bored
Be bursting with rage
We got a million different ways to engage

Welcome to the MCU
Put your cares aside
Here’s a Funko Pop collection
Here’s a set of Trading Cards

We got movies, and comics, and Disney+ shows
And a bunch of colored pencil drawings
Of all the different characters in Avengers fucking each other

Welcome to the MCU
Hold on to your socks
‘Cause a random old director said our movies are the worst

He is cranky and off-putting
His movie just flopped
Don’t act surprised, we own it, just ask Alan Moore

See a legacy sequel
Get offended, see a shrink
Show us cosplays of your children
Tell us every thought you think

Start a rumor, watch Youtube
Or send a death threat to a boomer
Or DM a girl and slur her
Like our Doom or call it tumor

Here’s a premium streaming option
You should pay us more
We’re not casting any women
Please don’t start a review-bomb

Which Thunderbolt* are you?
Take this quirky quiz
Pratt stop the immigrants to vaccinate your kids

Could I interest you in anything?
All of the time?
A little bit of anything
All of the time
Authorship’s a tragedy
Identity is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time

Could I interest you in anything?
All of the time?
A little bit of anything
All of the time
Authorship’s a tragedy
Identity is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time

You know, it wasn’t always like this
Not very long ago
Just before your time
Right before the towers fell, circa ’99

This was bad rip-offs
Nerd fan blogs
A chat room or two

We set our sights and spent our nights
Waiting
For you, you, insatiable you
Mommy let you watch the X-Men
You were barely two

And it did all the things
We designed it to do
Now look at you, oh
Look at you, you, you

Unstoppable, watchable
Your time is now
Your inside’s out
Honey, how you grew

And if we stick together
Who knows what we’ll do
It was always the plan
To put your world in our hand

Hahaha

Could I interest you in anything?
All of the time
A bit of anything
All of the time
Authorship’s a tragedy
Identity is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time

Could I interest you in anything?
All of the time
A little bit of anything
All of the time
Authorship’s a tragedy
Identity is a crime
Anything and everything
And anything and everything
And anything and everything
And all of the same